when i first started writing fics, i always began my days with a writing warm up. or maybe that’s misleading. is warm up two words or one? warmup. warm up. i think it’s just one.

what i mean to say is that every time i opened my google drive to work on a fic, i would first pull up my warm ups doc and just do a couple hundred word dump type of thing. i’m not really sure when i fell through on the practice. i’m trying to take it up again, but this time, i’m writing my warmup in a newsletter update. it’s a little bit funny. i feel kind of fifteen doing this again. i’m nineteen now. i’m nineteen now, and i just a got a new keyboard cover which now requires me to tap on my keys a bit harder for them to actually register my touch. it’s like relearning how to type. i was never very good at typing because the first elementary school i went to didn’t really have a computer lab. when i transferred to my second elementary school in third grade, i remember the computer lab teacher being like. huh. why can’t you type at all? and i just shrugged because how do you explain or comprehend socioeconomic inequities among urban and suburban school districts when you are eight years old. i don’t know why that came to mind.

i don’t know why a lot of things come to mind. when i do my warmups (warm ups?), they’re often like this. a bit sporadic. a bit all over the place. the fic i’m warming up for isn’t my hinata natsu wip, which i should be working on; it’s this spur of the moment crash course in romance wip i started kind of as a joke lol because two of the side guy characters have such weird homoerotic tension. but i think i’m going to make it a tiny bit more serious. one of the characters has an older brother with diagnosed bipolar, and i think i might draw on my own experiences living with a sibling with bipolar and write it in. i can never just write something short and sweet and easy. i have to make it matter to me in some matter of personal connection or else it just. doesn’t feel right. maybe that’s why i’m such a slow writer. i don’t know. i want this fic to have ice skating (i’ll draw from my brother who played hockey), and bipolar discussion, and strained family dynamics. i want it to feel a little bit real, even if that’s silly to ask for when these characters aren’t very fleshed out even within the show.

i think that’s a good enough warm up. i’m listening to scott street by phoebe bridgers now. does scott have two t’s or just one? not sure.

and this is where i leave you.