let’s talk about how good heavy rotation by akb48 is. as i type this, my alarm goes off telling me it’s time to walk to japanese class. the song that plays is yes i’m changing by tame impala, the one tame impala song i regularly listen to and like. this song reminds me of my former best friend who once said that it reminded her of a different mutual friend of ours. i’m not really friends with either of them anymore.

i have a midterm due this friday that i haven’t started writing. it’s only six to ten pages of writing double-spaced in total, and it’s about the japanese diaspora, which is something i’m actively interested in. and yet, i can’t bring myself to start writing it. i’m giving the excuse that i’m sick — this is true, i do have a sore throat, and one of my roommates has a pretty terrible cold — but at the end of the day, it’s just that: an excuse. i know that wednesday or thursday night i’ll probably crack down on it and submit a half-assed paper, but still. the anxiety about this midterm lingers in my bone.

i have another midterm for a sociology class that i don’t even know how to begin to tackle. it consists of a both an in-class essay and a take-home essay, and i still don’t know what it’ll be about. i’m worried i might have to pass / fail this class, because it’s one of those ones that only has a midterm and final and no other assignments to bolster (is that the right word here?) your grade. i guess i’ll just have to wait and see for it.

i like writing these newsletters. i think i tend to overshare on twitter, but when i overshare here, i feel less bad, because i know you actually signed up to here my miscellaneous thoughts ! if anyone ever wants to comment or dm about their life, you know where to find me.

*edit: 1:47pm.

i am back. hello. i tested for covid but i do not have covid. i suppose that is good, but the Evil Part Of Me secretly wanted to be sick so i could get out of my midterms.

last night i met the group that will be producing my film with me in my film club over the next month and change. i feel bad because i’m pretty sure half of them didn’t sign up to work on my film and instead were forced into it since the club only decided to include my project in the line up at the last minute. during our group meeting time, one of the club leaders actually came over and asked if anybody wanted to switch out because they weren’t interested in my pitch. this is kind of a frustrating move if you ask me, because 1) i am now hyper aware that people didn’t want to work on my pitch idea, and 2) who is going to actively admit in front of the pitch proposer that they don’t want to work on said pitch? i hope that makes sense.

i think i have to self-study japanese over the summer. i am supposed to apply to internships and i have not. my philosophy professor once wrote, “i don’t remember when life was simple; i just remember life,” and i think of that often. i do.

and this is where i leave you.